waitwhut

used up all my sick days at work. calling in dead.

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:16:22 -0400

used up all my sick days at work. calling in dead.

my social studies teacher: got an issue? grab a tissue.

Tue, 07 May 2013 17:41:20 -0400

my social studies teacher: got an issue? grab a tissue.
2 guys in my class: *walks up to the tissue box, grabs 10 tissues* what do i do with it now?
teacher: cry into it

goldenclitoris: is that butter no. it’s the butterhenge.

Mon, 06 May 2013 20:00:48 -0400

goldenclitoris:

is that butter

no. it’s the butterhenge.

theladythorki: nyan-cats-daughter: loveloree: that would be...

Mon, 06 May 2013 19:56:02 -0400

theladythorki:

nyan-cats-daughter:

loveloree:

that would be the best surprise ever omg

:OOOOO

no but what if the guy who loaded the machine had just filled it with these

you get a polar bear and it’s a nice surprise and you put the change in for another coke

but you get another polar bear

and you’re like hm that was weird but hey i got two polar bears that’s pretty cool

but it kEEPS HAPPENING

OVER AND OVER

you get more and more frustrated each time

eventually you give up and sit down on the floor and cry, surrounded by small plushie polar bears

you’re so thirsty

you never wanted this to happen

all you wanted was a coke

well that escalated quickly

i need help..

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:28:52 -0400

i have this problem where i ask my mom to buy me food from the store but she always forgets what i want so i have to go with her if i want something. but i’m too lazy to go with her. but then i get hungry.

does anyone see my problem?

love your mom <3

Sat, 04 May 2013 21:52:08 -0400

there was a boy and his mother.

his mother had one eye.

as a kid, the boy was embarrassed by his mom.

he never invited friends over.

he never took pictures with her.

he never went out in public with her.

as he got older, he grew up but he never visited his mom.

she was about to die so she decided to tell her son the truth.

she wrote a letter and told him that the reason that she only had one eye was because she gave it to him.

when he was a child, he was in an accident and lost his eye.

his mom gave up one of her eyes so that her son would have both.

she passed away the day he received and read the letter.

he never got to say, “i’m sorry, i love you”

clippie: math just got important ask someone if you can...

Sat, 04 May 2013 20:22:54 -0400

clippie:

math just got important

ask someone if you can borrow money and just buy them both. problem solved.

playdated: this account is followed by the...

Sat, 04 May 2013 20:18:16 -0400

playdated:

this account is followed by the president

that’s how you know he has his priorities straight

katara: sometimes im like ? but most times im like ????????? #mathclass

Sat, 04 May 2013 20:14:23 -0400

katara:

sometimes im like ? but most times im like ?????????

#mathclass

rebecca-blacks-crocs: Mario and peach look like they’re...

Sat, 04 May 2013 20:05:50 -0400

rebecca-blacks-crocs:

Mario and peach look like they’re clapping sarcastically before murdering another victim

and Yoshi’s like, “OMFG I’M A T-REX THAT CAN CLAP”

TEXTING

Wed, 01 May 2013 21:46:21 -0400

me: *texts someone*

me: *literally 5 seconds later* WHY AREN'T THEY REPLYING? DID I DO SOMETHING?!?

me: *gets reply a minute later* *doesn't reply for 10 minutes*

i know i should be sad for Woody but i just realized that...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:05:31 -0400

i know i should be sad for Woody but i just realized that Andy’s last name was Davis

Dumbledore + Dory = Dumbledory

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 19:59:53 -0400

Dumbledore + Dory = Dumbledory

starrysleeper: high-blogging: while my prof was setting up...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:10:45 -0400

starrysleeper:

high-blogging:

while my prof was setting up for his lecture…

gold

excuse me while I reblog this for the 36th time

it’s nice to know he didn’t take over the world in September

greekgogurt: beep beep friends did he save 15% on his bicycle insurance?

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:08:14 -0400

greekgogurt:

beep beep friends

did he save 15% on his bicycle insurance?

if Arkansas is pronounced [are-can-saw] why isn’t the Kansas pronounced [can-saw]?

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 18:05:05 -0400

if Arkansas is pronounced [are-can-saw] why isn’t the Kansas pronounced [can-saw]?

undirty: romantically climbs onto your balcony, to ask for the wifi password. Shakespeare...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 18:18:12 -0400

undirty:

*romantically climbs onto your balcony, to ask for the wifi password.*

Shakespeare 21st century edition

waitwhut

used up all my sick days at work. calling in dead.

my social studies teacher: got an issue? grab a tissue.

goldenclitoris: is that butter no. it’s the butterhenge.

theladythorki: nyan-cats-daughter: loveloree: that would be...

i need help..

love your mom <3

clippie: math just got important ask someone if you can...

playdated: this account is followed by the...

katara: sometimes im like ? but most times im like ????????? #mathclass

rebecca-blacks-crocs: Mario and peach look like they’re...

TEXTING

i know i should be sad for Woody but i just realized that...

Dumbledore + Dory = Dumbledory

starrysleeper: high-blogging: while my prof was setting up...

greekgogurt: beep beep friends did he save 15% on his bicycle insurance?

if Arkansas is pronounced [are-can-saw] why isn’t the Kansas pronounced [can-saw]?

undirty: *romantically climbs onto your balcony, to ask for the wifi password.* Shakespeare...

undirty: romantically climbs onto your balcony, to ask for the wifi password. Shakespeare...